Still Confused!!

Read some where that writing down my thoughts will help me to know what is exactly going on in my mind. I will be able to channelise my thoughts and the processes. I have been writing for some time now...
aahan! not exactly some time. Used to write a lot when i was a kid, then slowly and slowly the other things in my life started taking their own space. Friends, relationships, movies, chatting, gossiping, bitching, shopping, trying on different makeups and hairstyles, looking into the mirror and wondering-- why God made me so bad to look at? why did not he made me beautiful? and lots and lots of questions about the past and the future. At last landing me into a situation where I am so confused and just want to run away from all these.
No m not an escapist, but want some peace.

I know, i know there must be a lot of me in this world, confused souls like me.
I don't like what I am doing (work), and the things I want to do are so impossible. Impossible-- because I have a family to answer to, because I have piled up my credit card balance and don't have enough funds, because people will think I am crazy to leave a job which pays me good no matter how frustrated I am in it.
I know my dreams but don't know from where to start chasing them?

I so wanted to be in Drama and acting, but never had a chance to try my hands on apart from school plays where i have been awarded as the 'Best Actress' quite many times. I was good at athletics, but never had any support nor any means to continue it. I used to compose poems, but English was/ is still not as good as to keep on writing. Have so much knowledge about fashion and have been designing some and stitching but dun know what to do with it.

No no, i am not a total Know It All kinds, but have tried my hands on anything and everything. I think the need of the situation made me do all those things or may be my interests. May be I am a very creative person and have been trying to put my creativity into something.

But here I am working in an IT firm, working late nights, not exploring much of my brain. Finishing task on time being the highest motivation, drawing a monthly salary, and then listing from my boss where all I went wrong. Oh God can you tell me, did i ever did something right???

Anyways, IT was never my cup of tea. I hate it to the core. My parents feel proud to announce that their daughter is an engineer. But I only know how bad my career sucks. I do my work with all the hard work and dedication. I give results. But I don't like what I am doing. I need freedom of my will. I want to explore the lenght and breath of my greys.

I am so damn confused.

And one thing I realised long time back -- that parents should never force their aspirations on their children. In fact they should try and encourage their children to try harder to achieve what they want to be in life. Because I have seen that the children who are let to choose their career make the most. Name, fame and there comes the Moolah.
No, its not about being famous, its actually about being happy within oneself. Its knowing what exactly you want. Its about the passion and the drive, the amount of kick that one gets when they are happy and following their dreams.

People like me land no where. For the world we put a fake smile, but when all alone we don't even know what is the reflection of our image and the longer you gaze at it, the more confused you are. You want to reverse time and start again from the point you went wrong.
Its too late!!! Have almost spent half of my life doing what i never wanted to do, and some in cribbing and pondering over it.

But....
wait a second!!! Its never too late to start off again, may be not from the point that we went wrong, but may be from this point when I know what i wanted.
Ya I know much of time have been wasted, but lets not waste the time left!
Lets gear up and start!
Lets help someone who wants to chase his/her dreams!!