Dead Letters!!!

'Written words are like dead letters'

They do not mean anything to anybody. They need to be heard, heard by someone they are meant for.

I am not a good writer. And I am tired of writing, but I still write to satiate my own self. The inner self who needs to be heard.

Here I am sitting alone at home with a feeling of numbness/ emptiness around. Feels like i am in a big 'Zero'. Yet I am content, coz it lets me think , re think and rewind and relive moments in my life.

Today, I was just passing time over the net and suddenly thought of visiting a school reunion site. While still going through all the people I came across during school time, I saw a link which guided me to a small space where I could write a few things about my favourite teaher.

And belive you me, without a blink I was there dedicating words of praise for the most wonderful and special teacher of my life (apart from my Mom).

He is the person who made me realise that a teacher could be a good friend too. A person who saw the hidden potentials in me, a person who inspired to imagine. A person who always gave and wanted the best out of his students. A person who loved the world of Imagination.

After writing a few lines a weired thought came across my mind. "What is the use after all?"
These words of praise are not worthy unless they reach the ears of the person they are meant for. I can write on and on and on.... hundreds and thousands of line for my teacher of lifetime, but Will he ever hear it??? Will those lines ever get into his ears???

May be not! But I know how happy he would have been to hear all those words of praise from me, the best student he ever had ( as he claimed to my juniors in school).

I know, he would have busted in his warm and magical smile and would have said "Thank You! Suhasini "( as he used to call me).

And I am here dedicating my thoughts and a few regrets to the Best Man!
This is one of my constant efforts to bring myself out of the guilt feeling that I have been nursuring all through. To stop cursing myself for being the biggest looser!!

Because I never looked back and said 'Thank You' , because I never made him realize that he meant so much to me and he shaped the person inside me.
Because I never cared enough to go and meet him. And spend a little time out of my Not So Busy Schedule.

Now its too late! And I do not want to believe what I heard about him. Somebody said that cancer took his life away. I hope its all rumour. Life cannot be that cruel to a beautiful person like him. I pray to God that in reality he should be living a happy life with his love and now his wife and their little Princess.

I hope that someday I will be able to say these words to him and he flashes his magical smile.

People say , you should return the favours, but I guess I will never be able to return his favours.

Three Cheers!!! to
The Most Wonderful Teacher , A Kind Man, A Great Friend --- Mr. R. Rajeevan, My English Teacher, K.V. Pasighat.